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We Have Seen a Great Light---
In the news, as in the pews at times:
Skin.
Way too much skin. Yes, too much even for us women. We're not dead. We never have been.
Adam and Eve (Eve-- EveEveEve --
not Steve!) were naked. It was no problem to either of them until the serpent came on scene. And some daring folks think it still isn't a problem to run around with (and/or without..) a fig leaf. Well, it's a problem; our post-serpent fallen nature says so, in soooo many ways. I have laughed at Victorian man's reaction to a well-turned feminine ankle (it was all he could see, other than eyes)-- and not least of all when I picture what a girl's entire exposed abdomen and spinal tattoo might do to him; but I can identify, too. Since I am still in the clay and not a complete stranger to carnality, I sometimes find that I can't even look at a guy's hands or wrists or jawline without my traitorous heart skipping a beat; thus, to see the very back of his summer-thigh is (to put it the only way I can) the equivalent of pushing his wife and my husband down a small flight of stairs. It's 1000 times worse for guys to view the same in feminine form, I hear.
The only way for me to get through such a baffling and mostly unwelcomed moment is to see God's Hand in it. Poor Jesus.. He was stripped for such moments, and He knew He would be. He would redeem us-- both head to toe as well as on the inside, but it cost Him..it cost Him so dearly. And indeed, God made the human form -- "
male and female he made them" -- and made us to be attracted to it. Didn't Adam squawk, even though he had God and all the things in the world-- except one of his own humankind. And God made us mutually attract-ive
by our very differences; there'd be no reproducing if not! So, I ultimately thank God for hairy moments, which I try to keep down to dull roar without wearing actual blinders, and apologize if I've even come close to coveting--and I spare a priest only the silly details on Saturdays. My mom would simply smack me upside the head, and remind me of her favorite word: Moderation.
Moderation suffices, yes. It does. Before one gets to a sense of moderation (and wisdom), one might go off the deep end. I recall when I was in my mid-20s, I realized -- via this new Entity in the Bible with Whom I'd fallen so strangely and cleanly in love -- that I had tormented many guys with my own exposure of skin, with my long blond hair, and all sorts of magical little flourishes. I truly regretted it. One day a few weeks after recalling all my errors and misuse of the feminine form (which can happen within marriage, too), I went into the bathroom and cut my hair. I cut it into a short shag, and trust me, I can't cut hair. Then, I found all my black items. Black slacks, black top, black blazer. All bangles and big hoop earrings and anything sparkly or aromatic went the way of the nail polish. I was mortified.
Look at that, I thought:
Ugh. I got the kids ready to come to the store with me, and as we walked down the street, I noted cars slowing down both oncoming and sidling beside me.. I looked over, and guys were staring. It was so ridiculously consistent, I wondered if perhaps I looked like *someone.* When they -- even the cops -- kept staring even after I looked them full-faced so they'd know I wasn't whom they'd thought, I thought maybe this was satan's little chuckle. I complained: "Lord, I'm trying to offer You something here, my own humble invisibility -- a penance -- and it's back-firing. What's going on?"
Well, He is the Originator of the word "moderation." That's what women on here who advise other women how to dress are aiming for: femininity, but moderatedly so! This will help both guys and gals, yes. Of course, that can be carried to an extreme, too. Except for 3000 incinerating days over a couple of weeks in July, it's fairly useless to wear a dress in New England. To be all hunched over gripping your shoulders while your teeth are chattering still kinda dresses you as a bus-driver. And to moderate that to a 50-lb denim jumper only serves to remind you of your heritage of having once dressed in caribou carcasses. A woman it
doesn't make.
I have a lovely dress hanging out there in the front hall which, like my mother before me, will look wondrous on me at my funeral. And wearing a beret in lieu of the old veil (and even older pillbox hat) to Mass left me feeling like something in a pinball game. I'm too cool for that. I need to find my own moderation, so that I don't disrupt the least thought, yet also don't come off as Nanook's great-grandmother (/-grandfather). One good go-to person for holy moderation is Mary. (And for guys, Joseph.) And that's a predictable statement, sorry, but it's true --as is the fact that both femininity and masculinity come from
within. Hey, even the caribou-carriers married and multiplied, you know? Clothes do not exclusively make the man or the woman.
On the other hand, I truly don't believe that either the blessed virgin, Mary, or her virginal spouse, Joseph, would totally advocate shapeless robes for both men and women. We don't need to hide all of that which differentiates us; to see lovely small arms around your neck or rocking a baby is the God-given tiny softness men need, and to see broad shoulders and a stance that says "You will not harm my loved ones" is the God-given strength women need.
We all just need to make sure no one falls down the stairs.
Please.